You are viewing salmonme

Previous 10

Jun. 1st, 2015

Hetallia

[Salmon Rants!] Please Wait Here

I work in the service industry, and lately a certain thing people do has started making me see red.

Please Wait Here

What really bugs me lately is the fact that customers seem to be completely unable to understand the concept of "form a line here." I mean, seriously? I'm pretty sure we've all grown up standing in lines. Everywhere you go you stand in line - from movie theaters to concerts to amusement parks. We stand in line to go to public restrooms for crying outloud. How is it a hard concept to grasp?

The store I run customer service at has a single check out line that ques to the registers. There is a big red sign that plainly states "Please Wait Here and you will be called to the next available cashier." At the end of the registers is a place for carts and - oh, the exit doors. And yet, daily, the following happens:


1) People try to stand at the wrong end of the line. (Hey, the exit doors (Which are seperate from the entry doors) are here, along with a place to put your carts, and look, people are walking toward me who finished a transaction. This must be the place to stand...)


2) Will walk in the wrong way and try to stand behind a customer that is being checked out, and has to be directed back to the line. (Oh, you mean that's why those five people are standing down there?)


3) Will walk right past the wait here sign and stand behind the customer checking out. I have several probems with this.

a) It makes the customer in front of them uncomfortable. (I don't blame them.)

b) The customer in front of them could be (and often is) entering private information like their debit PIN, or has their purse or bag open in their cart. (I can't help but assume now that you are shady, and will keep your face in mind next time you enter my store. Yes, I am watching you. Yes, I suspect you are a possible thief. If you are not maybe you shouldn't do something like this. Because, frankly, it reads "HI, I'M A POTENTIAL CRIMINAL TRYING TO STEAL CARD NUMBERS, OR POSSIBLY SOMETHING FROM THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME'S OPEN PURSE.")

c) The extra cashier that is caled up will often assume they are with the current customer and will call the person waiting by the sign forward leading to the customer who has walked passed the sign to get pissy because they were next. (Next time, wait where you are told and this will not happen to you.)


4) People will walk up to registers where there is no cashier, and then wonder why they aren't being checked out. (Were you called forward? No? Then, guess what, NO OTHER REGISTER IS OPEN. Nobody is there to check you out. Stay in line, and someone will call you forward and assist you.)


I get really sick of being polite to these people, because frankly there's no excuse. This is not complicated. We stand in lines all our lives. There is a sign that says where to stand. "Please wait here, and you will be assisted."

May. 25th, 2015

storytime

[fic] The Truth in the Lie

Series: The Walking Dead
Title: The Truth in the Lie
Pairing: Edwin/Candace/Eugene (Yes, I wrote a Poly Pairing that can't possibly exist. Yay, me.)
Genre: Gen
Rating: T
Warnings: AU due to prompt. (Though it could almost still be canon due to the prompt as well.) Eugene Centric. Mentions of death and government conspiracy. All the good stuff. Also, Poly-pairing. (In case you missed it.)

Based on a kinke meme prompt:

Somebody from the group is somehow responsible for the zombie apocalypse. Maybe he or she worked in a lab and accidentally produced the virus (or not accidentally? :O What it was supposed to be a weapon of mass destruction and the experiments were approved by the government, but then something went wrong?)? Maybe something else happened. I don't care how. He or she hides it and maybe doesn't really feel guilty.



That was one truth he would never tell.Collapse )
sigh

[fic] End Game

Series: Supernatural
Title: End Game
Genre: Angst
Rating: T
Warnings: Some spoilers for the series. Samifer. Endverse. Headcanon.
Summary: Endverse Dean Introspective, and a final confrontation with Samifer. (Yah, everyone's got a take on it. This is mine.)


Killing Lucifer mattered. That was it. That was End Game.Collapse )
Hetallia

[Salmon Rants!] Why Can't Women write Women??

Here's where Salmon contradicts every other female author out there. The most common rant is - why can't men write women? Me? All my fav female characters were written by men.

Dian the Beautiful - Edgar Rice Burroughs. (Female character, male author - check)
Gwendolyn Gallowglass - Christopher Stasheff (Female character, male author - check)
Sarah Harding (novel only) - Michael Crichton (Female character, male author - check)

Ask me to list my fav female character by a female author, and you'll probably have to give me at least fifteen minutes, if not fifty (Wait there's, no. And, maybe... no, I hated how that character progressed, though the author clearly thought it was great. Um... does a character who only has five scenes count?) So here's where Salmon asks - WHY CAN'T WOMEN WRITE WOMEN??

Women can write GIRLSCollapse )

Your FMC should NOT cry AT THE DROP OF A HATCollapse )

The difference between ROMANCE and just plain PATHETICCollapse )

About those Female Characters who People Claim are... MenCollapse )

Mar. 10th, 2015

Hetallia

[fic] Never Rise Again

Series: The Walking Dead
Title: Never Rise Again
Pairing: Carl/Sophia
Genre: Gen
Rating: T
Warnings: AU, written before I saw the end of Second Season. Mentions of death, and characters under 18 carrying weapons. (And everything else you'd kinda expect from The Walking Dead)

Based on a kinke meme prompt:

I just want some snippets of Carl and Sophia being children of the zombie apocalypse, and the things they grow up taking for granted that surprise Rick and Lori and Carol and the others.

Anything from them calmly teaching some five year olds how to operate guns, to Carl's life philosophy that 'everything is food for something else', to Sophia being completely not-intimidated and rolling her eyes while the grown-ups freak out, because she's survived in forest full of zombies for a week and this is nothing. Or, maybe they prefer squirrel meat to thanksgiving turkey. Or play humans vs. zombies with the other kids. IDK. Whatever you might like, anon!

May you never rise again.Collapse )
Hetallia

[fic] Hot as a Smoking Gun (3/3)

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
Salute

Moving Ever Onward

I've had Pneumonia. I'm tired all the time, and I've been pretty much bedridden for two weeks. Clearly I've had no paycheck in that time.

On the bright side, I've gotten some writing done. And I've discovered new series and movies to adore.

The Tomorrow People (2013 version)
It's a decent show. I mean, they get way too caught up in the love triangle between the three main characters - which actually really drug it down. Plenty of potential, though, and some really great episodes and surprisingly decent acting. My fav character was Jedikiah, not surprising given my unending fondness for anti-heroes and characters who live in the shades of grey instead of black and white. I liked that he - almost - had a redemption arc toward the end of the series, showing that not all his actions were for selfish reasons. Not fond of them setting him up for the villain again in the Season Two that never happened. Kinda felt like a cop out, personally. Geez, we got rid of the main villain. Oh, well, Jedikiah can just go back to being that. Truly, not working for me, and if I ever write a fic it will probably be an AU where Jedikiah doesn't drink the insto-villain kool-aid.

The Four
Yes, in some way it's nothing but a Wuxia version of a superhero film set in an ancient dynasty. But... it's a Wuxia version of a superhero film set in an ancient dynasty! We've got a psychic girl in a wheel chair, a kid raised by wolves, a bounty hunter with a heart of gold, a stoic no-nonsense warrior, and a mysterious super powerful old dude with close ties to the emperor who brings them together. What is not to love?

Tin Man
Grew up on The Wizard of Oz. As modern takes go, gotta admit I did not plan on loving this mini-series. But, yah, it's pretty darn awesome. DG is probably one of the best female leads I've seen in forever. She is snarky and brave without being stupid, and vulnerable without being whiny. And - spoiler alert! - I get my happy ending. We all know Salmon loves a happy ending.

Hansel & Gretel: Witchunters
I can sum up this film in one word: Fun. If there's one thing some of the best fantasy films out there do, it's manage to not take themselves so seriously while taking themselves seriously. (Willow did it best, with Krull a close second). This film does just that. It rolls it's eyes at itself, but tells the story straight. It's hard not to laugh and cheer right where the film expects you to. There's a hint of steampunk to it's fantasy, which kinda adds to the awesome factor, but mostly it's an epic fantasy tale told right. Definitely need a few of those.

Roswell
I'd forgotten how much I loved this old cheeseball of a teenage sci-fi drama. It actually had a lot of good episodes. (Okay, it also had some really bad ones, I'll admit.) I'm the odd girl out in the fandom, as apparently most prefer season one to season two, and I was more into season two. Season three was up and down, but I thought all and all it ended well.

Aug. 17th, 2014

Hetallia

Screw You, Too, Life

So, I just found out my bosses aren't hiring from outside, but are transferring a girl from a different department up front to take over the position I want. A girl who has never run the front counter in her life. On top of that, not a one of her training shifts are with me, they're all with the other girl in my position, and every single shift I have starting next week is night shift because they gave her every weekday Day shift. Plus, I'm going to have to start working every Sunday again due to this change. As I don't have a car and buses don't run on Sundays, this essentially sucks.

The icing on the cake is the other position coming open that would be full time was given to a brand new transfer who the bosses assure us has "been with the company for years." Yah, so have I. I've worked with this girl the last two weeks since she came. There hasn't been a day she hasn't screwed up. I closed with her last night. She had the second easiest recovery area of the store, was called less to register than anyone but the girl with the hardest recovery area in the store, and at 20 to close, her area was a complete disaster.

My thoughts on my situation come to this: The area I currently live has the most breathtaking scenery of any place I've lived yet, and the highest number of lazy, dumb shits in the same. I am so sick of cleaning up after them, and then being told I'm not doing my job well enough.

Screw you, too, Life.

Aug. 6th, 2014

Hetallia

[fic] Too Much of Mary

Series: Supernatural
Title: Too Much of Mary
Genre: Angst
Rating: T
Warnings: Some major spoilers for the series. John tries but is still a fail father. headcanon
Summary: John's introspection on his eldest.

John saw too much of Mary in Dean, and sometimes it was painful. Collapse )
Hetallia

[fic] Hot as a Smoking Gun (2/3)

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Previous 10